It is true when young children take part in beauty pageants they eventually appreciate what
beauty is. Many parents would take their child to take part in such pageants to have them understand how important is beauty. Beauty pageants is a contest which is a compeition over
their physical attractiveness.This pageants are organise to allow everyone to have a chance to
unleash their beauty.I think it is a great oppurtunity for them to take part in this pageants as
it might be a once in a lifetime event as nobody will ever stay young.Thus, i think that young
children should be encouraged to participate in beauty pageants since they are still young they
should get into contact with such pageants to understand more about beauty.This way they would
have a basic mindset that beauty is very important to everyone.
Beauty can be classified into many catagories such as,' quality, physical attractiveness,a
characteristic of a person and a thing.' This are actually some main defination of beauty, to me i
think that beauty is actually a extraordinary word which cannot be describle easily. it could make
someone run out of words and catch a person attention. Thus,'beauty' is what everyone hope to have.
Firstly, I think it will be beneficial that their children take part in beauty pageants, as
they will be able to achieve the fundamental of a beauty pageants and it is basically 'beauty'.
With this, they will eventually have a rough idea of the importance of beauty as they would now know
that the requirements for participating a beauty pageants is 'beauty'. Having them to take part in
such pageants would give them a mindset that they should appreciate their beauty.
Secondly, taking part in such pageants would help them to build up their confidence in their physical
apperance.They would be more obsesse about how they doll themselves up as after the pageants they
would have the basic mindset on dolling themselves up beautifully, also when u are dressed nicely
it would leave a good impression to others who are looking at them. Thus, this tell us how much the
beauty pageants have help to influence the young children to have a mindset in appreciating beauty.
Everything should start from young, when they are young and they were able to take part of get into
contact with such pageants they would have the idea about the importance of beauty even when they
grow.
Thirdly,after participating such pageants they would eventually be more cautious about how they dress
when they go out with friends. This is mostly due to the influence of the pageants as during the pageants
there will always be judges giving negative or postitive comments about how they dress. Hence, when
they understand the comments given by the judges they would soon be influence by them and start to
dress up beautiful. Overall, they actually learn to appreciate beauty after the beauty pageants.
Lastly, since young they have the fundamental of beauty it will eventually help them when they are out
into the society as they will be able to produce better quality work if they work as a fashion designer
when they grow up. Thus, in other words the young children actually benefited from the particular beauty
pageants. Afterall they eventually appreciate the importance of beauty and it is able to help in their
furture. Hence, it is actually true that young children would appreciate what beauty is.
However, there are some detractors to the statement.young childrens who take part in this pageants, most
were being forced by their parents as their parents wants to show everyone how beautiful is their own child
. Thus, they do not really know the meaning of the pageants. Also, young children have not start their puberty
they are still young they should get involve in such pageants as it might give bad influence to them such as,'
they might be overly obsesse about their image.' On the other words when they are too obsesse with their image
they will tend to spent lots of money on dolling themselves up. It is undesire for them to actually spent most
of their money on dolling themselves as they are still young. Hence, this eventually gives bad influence to the
young children in having such a fashionable and beauty lifestyle.
Recently i came across a article about ' Having a son is better than having a daughter' this is a article
about girls actually spent more money on dolling themselves than on other aspects. With this, it tells us that we will be influenced easily. Hence, taking part in pageants might not let the young children have the mindset of appreciating beauty but giving them a bad influence.
In conclusion, there are actually more detractors than benefition as i think it is also true that young children are
simple-minded and they tend to be influence easily. Thus, having them to participate in this pageants might affect them.However, i would like to support my stand as i think that having young children to take part in this pageants eventhough they might get bad influence, they will eventually gain experience at the same time. They will look into appreciate beauty more once they have take part in the contest.Hence, i believe that they will eventually appreciate beauty through beauty pageants.
written by: Edmund oh jun kiat.
my microsoft word is down so if my paragraphing is in a mess just accept it.. i am very sry..
Edmund, your entire essay is a mixed signal. All was going well and fine until you killed it in your conclusion where you wrote "there are actually more detractors than benefition" (what you really meant was that there are certainly more disadvantages and negative outcomes than advantages and positive outcomes in children taking part in beauty pageants -- your sentence structure was a very clumsy expression). And yet, you went on to say that YOUR stand or position is still right. How can this possibly be? It is an outright instance of self-contradiction where you literally shoot yourself in the foot. You started off saying that there are several benefits (or truths, according to the question!) to children participating in beauty pageants and yet in your last paragraph you declared that (however) it is true that the negative aspects outweight the positive aspects. You should always watch what you write -- do you re-read your essay and check for grammatical errors or logical fallacies or inconsistencies before submissiong?
ReplyDeleteHaving said the above, I still commend you for your discipline in the way you formulate each paragraph as a mini-argument to substantiate your stand. Your position is quite robust because you systematically back it up with "evidence", so to speak. However, I personally find each paragraph rather brief and still lacks a good elaboration to further enhance your argument on the whole.
Most unfortunately, despite your discipline, this essay sinks. The last paragraph, or conclusion as you call it, really demolishes all the hard work you have put it in the preceding paragraphs. Your opening paragraph is promising though.
Once again, it is your Logos (logic) and Ethos (expression) which you need to put in much more effort for. Note that both logic and expression are indispensable for ANY essays anyway -- whether narrative, descriptive, or expository.