Youths being materialistic is not something to be amuse anymore, this sign had been a common
trend throughout the global of cities. However, there is also a sign of increase in youths demand for material goods.
Lets take an example. Just seeing the street of Singapore main tourist gathering place, Orchard. The youths, just looking at what they wear and what accessory they brought is enough to clear things up, branded goods, expensive accessories, even their unattractive shoes is expensive.
Youths could get all this influence and source from, the media, teen magazine, daily school and even at home. Media had always been a big part of cities man life, the teen magazine that the youths
Would brought for every issue. Not to mention the school and at home where these are the easiest place to be influence for being materialistic.
One would definitely watch either television or internet as source of media for a form of relaxation. This media had influence the youths to be materialistic by bringing them the latest trend of fashion and is also told to be a 'must buy' goods.
The magazine is also part and parcel of youths lifestyle, seeing and reading the latest fashion trend, the latest gossips news, anything that could get people attention. Influencing the youths by giving them the mindset of 'expensive goods is always the latest trend, you can be attractive as long as you follow this magazine.'
The school and at home play the most important part in youths materialistic life. Teachers and parents had to be a role model for the student or children and have to teach them why being overbroad in liking materials goods is not a good things. Unlike some teacher and parents that is all talks but no action. On one hand they always tell the student and children that being too materialistic is bad and it is unacceptable, on the other hand they are the ones that always buying branded goods. How would anyone be convince this way?
Being materialistic can lead to crime, stealing of ‘out of reach’ gadgets, branded items, expensive things
that they want, marrying not to the man but to his wealth. The case of youths crime rates increase is also
an evidence that youths are getting more materialistic these days.
Despite all the disadvantage there are also some good points that is miss out from all this discussion.
Youths that are materialistic means they are following fashion, which just raise the impression points
we get from all the tourist that is in town being fashionable and not a sloppy Singaporean that wear t-shirt and jeans.
Being materialistic also means that our media actually had the power to influence people, this could go to our country advantage as there will be more funds, more show and lastly more entertainment to relieve the worn out body. Hence, despite all the disadvantage youths could still be materialistic as long as they do not cross the line.
In overall, I still agree that youths are getting more materialistic these days, as i have stated in the above
paragraph that there is evidence of youth getting more materialistic. Even though there is advantages to it
we still cant do anything about the youth that had already cross the 'line'.
by: caihu
You raise a couple of good points in this essay. They are interesting and provide helpful perspectives to substantiate your position. Your argumentation and structure are improving, but this essay is still not as good as it ought to be.
ReplyDeleteFirst of all, your expressions (ethos) are rather problematic. They are informal, somewhat almost casual or colloquial. THIS IS NOT GOOD. Of course there are grammatical errors (as usual), but I find it is quite a problem if you are unable to express yourself clearly. Remember my writing rule? "Write simply, clearly and above all, naturally." In terms of simplicity and developing your own style, I can identify both in this essay. However, the clarity is still very much lacking.
Now having said the above, please do continue to keep up the good work. Your rationality (logos) and relevance (kairos) are present in this essay, but it is precisely your expressions (ethos) which compromise the quality of your work. Your writing is only as good as how well or how clearly you can translate your thoughts into words.
Your introduction and conclusion, nonetheless, are very weak. They are so weak that it is as if you could not be bothered to write both the introduction and conclusion. However, the rest of your essay is pretty good!
I need to INTENSIFY your grammar exercises. This means to do more grammar exercises. Perhaps, instead of writing essays, you should devote all your time in doing assessment books.....
thanks so much it helped me a lot
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