Internet is one of the technological inventions that were formed in the 20th century. When it was first introduced to the globe, everyone across the world was so fascinated with how the internet functions. It became so popular that within the first few months of released; over thousands of webpage had been created by the users. As time pass down, more function had been added to benefit the internet users. Not long after, the internet has become the most common word for conversation and most importantly, it has replaced the only source of information, books.
Back in 19th century where technology was still very fresh, the only source of information that people had was the books. Lots of books were written by fore-fathers and later sold to the publisher to earn money for a living. However, as publishers sold the books at very high priced and not all people are wealthy, the only choice they had was to rent it from the library. With limited amount of copies published, people always go to the library early in the morning hoping to rent the books they craved for. After the internet was shown-case to the public, there was a huge fall in the amount of people renting books from the library. The reason was simply because the internet was able to provide a wide range of information and even more than what the books contained. Having internet users from all over the world, information had been gathered from everywhere to a webpage which enables the reader to have an easy time reading and understand better, meanwhile learning. Besides, it also allows words to be edited on the spot such as correcting to the proper Standard English and cancellation of errors. Therefore, we can see that internet is a lot more efficient and has entirely transformed this world into a technological globe.
Besides having said that, the introduction of internet has also shrunk the world in terms of the communication across the continents. Back into the history, the only form of communication with friends located at the next village or overseas was by writing letter. It usually takes about two or three months depending on the distance apart before reaching the receiver. As we can see, it takes a long period of time to deliver a letter. Can you imagine if the letter is very important and urgent? Hence, the invention of internet has shorten the time for delivery and it is so efficient that you can instantly each out to your siblings/friends located overseas. Electronic Mails (e-mail), Window Live Messengers and Facebook are some examples of common communication tools. Other than being able to contact instantly, you are also able to communicate with your siblings/friends through the webcam. This network was flavoured by many people especially students who studies overboard as it helps to reduce their chances of homesick.
Furthermore, the internet has changes the lifestyle of people. In those days when internet was not so advanced, people used to do shopping by going shops after shops. Today, most people preferred to do shopping online as they are able to stay comfortably at home while need not waste energy walking around the streets and enduring the extreme weather. On the other hand, online games which were introduced since 1990s had attracted the attention of many people, especially teenagers across the globe. Games such as Maple Story, StarCraft and Eudemon are some games that caught the addiction of teenagers. Hence, we can see that since the introduction of internet to the globe, many things had changed within this short period of time.
Conversely, even though the internet has greatly benefited us, at the same time it has also created many problems. For instance, one of which is the internet pornography. As more people are addicted to pornography through serving, it has brought about negative damages to their mind. Besides, with an increase in the number of sites viewed, more pornography webpages will be created which in turn would destroy the image of internet. On the other hand, through several webpage where chatting online across the globe is available, many people meet new friends whom they do not really know and unconsciously reveal their true identity to the opposite person and some even agree to meet with each other alone. Very often, it is the girls who are always the victims that gets soften easily simply by sweet talks. Besides, you can never know the true identity of the person whom you are communicating with unless they meet up. Therefore, we can see the even though the internet has enable communication across the globe, risk is also present at the same time.
On the whole, the internet has benefited this world greatly by bringing everyone across the globe closer to one another. It has also provide entertainment to people such as watching movies, updating blogs. With the internet now, what will come next?
By Kelvin Wong Jin Tong
Kelvin,
ReplyDeleteThis is a good effort and I want to encourage you to continue writing expository essays. It is not as well-written as I would like it to be, but it is a decent piece of writing and I am quite impressed with some of its content.
Having said that, please kindly adhere to the regulations I have for your essay-writing:
(1) Always type out the question in full, and not shorten or modify it as you wish,
(2) and fulfil the word count requirement, which I believe I set it as at least 1,000 words.
Now, I had to read your first two paragraphs almost three times because I initially mistook both paragraphs as the opening to the essay and after a closer observation, I found out that the first paragraph is actually the introduction while you already begin to make your first point in the second paragraph. The only critique that I can provide at this moment is that your thesis is not articulated CLEARLY enough. In other words, I am not entirely sure exactly WHAT you seek out to write until I have read the rest of the essay. This is also the reason why I was confused as to whether your first two paragraphs constituted the opening, or the introduction. Do note that the opening is different from the introduction. A good opening helps the reader to anticipate what would be presented in the rest of the essay by first attracting the reader's attention or provoking the reader's curiosity. On the other hand, the introduction establishes the position or premise or purpose of the essay and gives the reader a good summary of the points which would be mentioned in the rest of the essay.
I think your essay, besides the usual grammatical disaster, is quite impressive in its scope. You have swept broadly the benefits of the Internet in various aspects, but partly because of the awkward expressions (ethos), I find it difficult to follow what you are trying to say in certain areas of your essay. But ultimately, though your logic (logos) and relevance (kairos) are present in your essay, the fluency or eloquence (ethos) is still very much missing, and this sabotages the CLARITY of your essay.
What would help is to be very clear about what you are going to write...
For instance,
The Internet is an ubiquitous phenomenon. Anyone with a computer and a cable or wireless connection is able to access the World Wide Web. But what are its benefits? This essay will expound on the various advantages that the Internet has provided for the modern men in these aspects -- social networking, online shopping, information retrieval, creative entertainment, and instant communication.